This was a lovely accident.

I know. I know. Big deal. They’re just stupid pierogies that you got out of your freezer and heated in a skillet. What the hell are you blogging this for?

A few weeks ago, we had my adopted uncle and his wife over. She was fasting for Ramadan. We were serving Italian for dinner, a big fat delicious bricole. We thought it would be nice to serve something with a middle-eastern flare as an appetizer to give her something familiar to scarf on at sundown. Tabbouleh was among the appetizers served.

But tabbouleh is a valuable ingredient as well as being delicious on pita chips. The mint, the lemon, the garlic, the bulgur, everything that’s in that bad boy comes through in a dish. It is, for example, amazing in pierogies.

I heated the oil (medium high heat) and salted and peppered. I threw in the tabbouleh and let it heat for a bit, then threw in the pierogies. I let them cook and turned them, and they were looking good, but some of them were starting to break in the pan a bit. So I threw in some pinot noir and skimmed the pan and let it reduce.

I’m telling you friends, this stuff was magic. The tabbouleh and the wine and the other flavors seemed to just explode, in a good way. If you have some tabbouleh in your fridge, do not let it grow mold. I have also used the stuff in a quesadilla to similarly successful effect. Use your leftover tabbouleh. You won’t be disappointed.

The apricot brandy rickey: Two ounces of apricot brandy. Juice from half a lime. Four ounces of club soda. Dumped into a highball glass filled with ice and stirred slightly.

You’re welcome.

Speaking of the aforementioned Food Network (which is officially called the Television Food Network, by the way), there is a program on there that is probably the most funnest thing on there to watch, called The Best Thing I Ever Ate. There is something infectious about watching people who love food so much they do it for a living tell you about their very favorite dishes in the whole world.

So today, I’m stealing from that show. Because have I got a tip for you.

If you’re in my neck of the woods, which would be Arlington, Virginia, and you have a jones for some squid, I’m sure the first thing you’d think would be to go to an Italian joint, you know, Ruffino’s, Palms of Florence (a.k.a. the Sure Why Not), etc…I’m here to change your mind about that, bubby.

The Asian Kitchen. 5731 Lee Highway. That’s where you wanna go for the most genius calamari dish you’ve ever had.

If you like Chinese food generally, you’ll like this joint a lot. The food there elevates the genre across the board. Order the orange chicken and prepare to taste actual citrus flavors. Order the chow fun and you’ll get blown away by these fat sumptuous noodles that just delight from mouth to tummy. But. While you’re there. You better order the salt pepper calamari.

For $6.50 you get a generous platter of vegetables such as green pepper, onion, and carrot, mixed with fresh, perfectly seasoned and brilliantly prepared calamari.

This ain’t you’re typical calamari dish. It is breaded and fried, sure, but only lightly, which is smart because the squid is fresh and therefore should not be hidden by excessive breading or frying. The seasoning, as the dish’s name implies, is simple yet effective. It is, quite simply, the finest plate of calamari around, and you should go there today and order it up, though you might want to put in a little chopstick practice first.

Should mention too that this joint also has sushi, which is probably very good, but I am in the unfortunate position of being a foodie who has yet to accustom himself to this area of food. So that review will have to wait. But do get the calamari.

Tags: The Best Thing I Ever Ate

I have of late become absolutely obsessed with the programming of the Food Network. Not only is such programming valuable for learning a thing or two about good kitchen work, but some of the television they crank out is pretty riveting as well. One of the finer programs available there has been “The Next Food Network Star.” The winner of course was Aarti, which is great because she has a nice rack. I mean, because she has excellent ideas for incorporating Indian flavors into one’s food.

I do wish someone would have advised her against “Aarti Party,” because it is one of the worst monikers for a television program I have ever heard. But that’s all right. Here’s the promo, and it airs noon Sunday apparently.

What The Fuck Should I Make For Dinner Dot Com

To the Red Hot & Blue Barbecue Restaurant:

You should know first of all that cable television’s The Food Network does some excellent work for you folks. One minute Papa Bonk and I are watching Guy Fieri touring Kansas City barbecue joints. The next thing you know, we’re in PB’s jalopy headed for your Rosslyn location. As if compelled by ghosts. Drooling ghosts.

So. It was about 5 p.m. Sunday. We’d both skipped lunch. We started with tall house beers and catfish fingers. They were, truly, delicious. I especially enjoy the gritty texture your batter offers and the outrageously tangy tartar sauce. Delicious. Then, we ordered a half-slab dry ribs each. Phenomenal. I ordered beans and potato salad; he ordered beans and hush puppies. We swapped a little. Every detail of the plate was outstanding. The dry rub was great—I believe the dry slab to be the best thing on your menu—and the meat is cooked expertly. The hush puppies were surprisingly spicy, and the potato salad, well, it’s almost as good as Papa Bonk’s. And one must mention the little corn muffins, which are just moist and tasty as can be and which practically jump into the bean bowl on their own. The service was fine. Cute young little broad with an accent served us. Brought us drinks in a timely manner and ran the food to us nice and hot. Damn near perfect.

But. You still get a C+.

Why? Because when we walk in, we hear this: “Hello, hello, baby you called? I can’t hear a thing. I have got no service in the club you see you see.”

Lady Gaga? Really?

Look. I think Lee Atwater was an evil man for most of his life, and I do not put much credence in deathbed conversions. But I do not think even he deserves the severe grave-turning that your Rosslyn staff likely compels him to by playing Sirius-XM Hits as the house music in one of his restaurants. Blues, ladies and gentlemen. When I walk into Red Hot & Blue, I want to hear blues. I do not want to hear Lady Gaga. I want to hear Robert Johnson. I want to hear Fenton Robinson. Muddy Waters. B.B. King. Fred McDowell. Blues, people. Not teenybopper auto-tone crap.

There is an idea that your staff needs to absorb regarding “Red Hot & Blue.” This is a successful restaurant chain not just because it can plate a damned good half-slab of dry ribs. It’s successful because it is an homage to an entire culture and, specifically, to a music. You can serve up awesome ribs and incredible sides all you like. But a Red Hot & Blue that isn’t staying true to its native ambiance is not doing its customers or to management any good.

That kind of music, this Sirius-XM Hits channel they were playing, it’s just as likely to be played in an Applebees or in a T.G.I.Fridays. You want your restaurant to remind your customers of those places? Or do you want to remind them that you’re Red Hot & Blue?

And I will say this. I think the music selection was for the benefit of the wrong group of people. When I looked around me at the tables where there were paying customers? Old farts like me and older (and wiser) farts like my Papa Bonk. The only teenyboppers in the building were the ones taking orders and running food. So what is your wait-staff doing establishing ambiance for their own unseasoned musical pallets over what was likely to have been the preferences of your customers?

The Sirius/XM station you’re looking for is #74, B.B. King’s Bluesville. Put it there and keep it there. Or, better yet…Why not program your own Internet station? Play it in the restaurants, program it with blues, and interrupt with promos for the restaurant?

Look, if you’re going to market your brand as a blues-based joint with BBQ, then you’ve got to provide for that with your ambiance, even at 5 p.m. on a Sunday. For me to walk into your establishment and to hear Lady Gaga? It’s absurd.

Otherwise, really nice work. Thanks for a great meal!

In commerce, hype is everything.  Nowhere is that truer than in the market for booze.  I grew up drinking Stag beer, which many people said was crap, but I always thought actually tasted like beer, being yeasty and full bodied compared to Budweiser or PBR (the redneck favorite). I never understood the popularity of Coors, which in 1975 was THE beer to drink.

So it is with Whiskey. The new thing is expensive single malt American whiskey. You can spend a lot of money buying premium names like Bullett and Woodford Reserve, and I have to say they are wonderful drinking. But I am cheap and I am a contrarian, so I have begun exploring less expensive alternatives.

I was paging through the complementary play book for the 1960 Democratic National Convention (my brother found it at a yard sale) when I spotted an advertisement for Old Crow, touted as a premium American whiskey. This makes it clear that at one time in our history certain American brand products were regarded as “premium” regardless of whether they failed over time to maintain that brand identity. Today, many people would have you believe they are crap. In fact, those whiskies are still here, untouted and ignored, sitting in the cheap seats waiting to be appreciated.

Old Crow is named for the gentleman who first distilled it in Kentucky back in the day. Mr. Crow is distinguished for being the first distiller to actually apply basic quality control to his product so that one bottle tasted pretty much like the next. The passage of time has not been good for the brand, and it has been hard to find. The industry blogs report that the original Old Crow is what is now sold as Jim Beam White Label, which I can report is a pretty passable drink. Recently, however, I found a bottle of Old Crow Reserve which sells for about $14 a quart, and am here to report is it good stuff… maybe my favorite among the old American masters. It is rich, dark and flavorful. I like to thin it out with an ice cube or two. Here are some others I have explored.

Jim Beam Black Label is about $22 a quart and quite respectable. It’s smoother than Jack Daniels but maybe not as rich. Also two ice cubes. (I am very fond of Black Jack, and it’s more expensive single malts. It is probably the gold standard among American whiskies, but because it has not lost it’s brand presence, I did not consider it a part of the research project.) As I mentioned above, Jim Beam White is a most pleasant drink. Light and smooth, with a little of the caramel you get with the Black Label. You can take this one neat. It’s about $16.

Old Granddad regular and Old GrandDad IV both deserve a little respect. The IV, which retails for around $25 is the richer of the two, thick and nutlike and in definite need of ice. Old Grandad regular is has a little bitter root with the nutlike flavor, and can be taken neat, although one ice cube is good. It sells for about $16.

One other whiskey will l get special mention… Old Overholt, about $16 a quart is silky and subtle. It’s one of the original American rye whiskies and deserves better respect than it usually gets. It’s fine neat.

I started the research project more than a year ago and have had an opportunity to sample many fine American bourbons and ryes. I only found one I did not abide… Rittenhouse. I did not dip into the bottom shelf too much. For example, Ten High has been avoided, as has anything that sells in a plastic bottle.

Some other names that have been appreciated include: George Dickel, W.L. Weller, Evan Williiams and Eliah Craig. I also tested some Canadian whiskies, including Canadian Club and Seagrams 7, both of which are fine. I have in mind to extend the research project to a special Canadian edition. Maybe next year.

I should note that whiskey research is best conducted in the company of friends. Thanks to Brady and his lady, Uncle Hat and Dick E for their invaluable support.

Buy this rice.

And cook it.

(I did the whole pound bag in a rice cooker with three tablespoons of budder. This rice is amazing.)

http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/best-bargain-booze-whats-your-pick-straight-up-cocktails-and-spirits-120725